Eating Disorder and Body Image Thinking Traps: Watch out for these!
If you are struggling with an eating disorder or negative body image, it’s likely you are falling into these common eating disorder and body image thinking traps. It’s important to be mindful of your thinking and catch yourself when you are falling into these thinking traps. There is information about each thinking trap below as well as tips for how to get out of each thinking trap.
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The Beauty or Beast Thinking Trap emerges when you evaluate your appearance in absolute extremes, thinking, "I'm either the perfect weight or I am gross."
To overcome this cognitive error, consider adopting a more nuanced perspective by placing your appearance on a continuum. It's not about being exclusively a 10/10 or a 1/10; you can occupy any point along that spectrum. You don't have to strive for perfection or resign yourself to complete imperfection.
Extend this line of thinking by reflecting on whether you assess others using only two extreme categories or if you perceive them along a continuum. Chances are, you have friends whom you don't view as supermodels but also don't categorize as unattractive. You likely see your friends somewhere in the middle, and they appear pleasant to you.
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The Anti-Fatness Thinking Trap affects you when you make negative judgments and assumptions about individuals with larger or fat bodies, such as thinking, "If I'm fat, then I'm gross and ugly" or linking fatness with being unhealthy. This mindset is deeply ingrained in a society that holds anti-fat biases.
To overcome this bias, it's crucial for you to recognize that health exists at any size, and its definition is highly individualized. What is considered healthy for one person may not be the same for you or others. Medical conditions are not exclusive to larger bodies; people in smaller bodies also experience health issues. Additionally, body weight and size are almost as genetically predetermined as your height. Consider whether you want to live in a society that stigmatizes characteristics like skin color, height, and weight, even though individuals have little to no control over these aspects of their bodies.
Challenging the anti-fatness bias involves contemplating the kind of society you desire. Do you aspire to live in an anti-fat, racist society? If not, what kind of society would be preferable for you? How would you like others to perceive your body, and how can you apply those values to your own body? By exploring these questions, you can shift your mindset and foster a more inclusive and accepting perspective towards different body types.
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The Comparison Making Thinking Trap traps you in the habit of pitting your appearance against unrealistic or extreme standards. You find yourself comparing against a small subgroup of people—those exceptionally attractive or those paid to look that way—rather than considering the average person. Furthermore, you may focus solely on your biggest "flaws" rather than recognizing and comparing your strengths to those of others.
To overcome this mental mistake, shift your approach by comparing your strengths to those of others. Ask yourself, "If I'm going to compare, I need to be fair. So, who am I more attractive than?" When was the last time you did that? Replace demanding language like "shoulds" and "musts." You don't need to be thinner. Correct your language: "It might be nice to drop a few kilograms, but I look pretty good the way I am. I refuse to think ill of myself for not looking like a Victoria’s Secret Model."
Remember, everyone is more attractive than someone and less attractive than someone else. There's no need to feel bad just because someone else may have something that seems better than yours. Question the origins of beauty ideals. Who are these appearance masters that we feel the need to serve? Trends and standards of beauty are ever-changing, and trying to keep up is rarely fulfilling. In your teens, the ideal might have been to be stick thin, but now a more athletic and curvy physique is admired. How do you keep up? Why bother?
Take a stance: "I refuse to buy into societal ideals of beauty. I refuse to treat myself that way." Recognize that giving a mental compliment to someone else doesn't mean criticizing yourself. The way someone else looks has nothing to do with the way you look. Someone else looking good doesn’t mean that you look bad.
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The Magnifying Glass Thinking Trap happens when you focus intensely on an aspect of your appearance that you dislike and then exaggerate it. You fall into this mental mistake when you cannot consider your looks without zooming in on one disliked feature. This trap further amplifies your negative body image, making it challenging to appreciate the very features that others find most attractive about you.
To begin correcting this mental mistake, spend as much time analyzing your best features as you do your '“worst.” Adopt the “equal time rule,” which suggests spending an equal amount of time on your more positive or desirable features/traits as you do on those things you dislike about your body.
Remind yourself, “I may not like my _________, but others see more to me than that feature.” Correct your subjective descriptions; for example, saying “I’m carrying a little more weight than usual” is more objective than “I look huge.”
Consider what features others compliment you on and reflect on how it feels to zoom in on those positive aspects. Recognize that others appreciate and notice different qualities in you, contributing to a more balanced and positive perspective on your appearance.
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The Mind Misreading Thinking Trap leads you to believe that if you think you look bad, others must think the same too. It causes you to project your own beliefs onto the minds of others. You are the one observing what you don’t like about your appearance. Other people usually couldn’t care less. They probably have their own body image hang-ups that they’re hoping you don’t notice.
While people do notice what you look like, it's unlikely they zoom in on your flaws as much as you do. Also, their treatment of you is much more likely to be dictated by their strengths and weaknesses, which you cannot control.
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The Fortune Telling Thinking Trap involves your predictions about how your appearance will affect your future—believing that your physical shortcomings will have deleterious effects on your life, such as thinking, “People at the gym will stare at me” or “I’ll never get a boyfriend if I’m overweight.” Let’s be real, life and people are much less predictable than this.
Realize that your pessimism may actually stem from your expectation that you’ll feel self-conscious in a given situation. Your discomfort is probably the worst thing that will happen.
Analyze the evidence. Have your pessimistic predictions always come true? Think about instances in which events turned out more favorably than you’d expected.
There is seriously only one way to find out if your predictions are correct: test them. Go to the gym. Are people staring? Yes, I completely understand this is daunting. Go with a friend, have a physical therapist take you through a session, whatever makes you feel most comfortable. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find that the people there are much less interested in your appearance than you expect.
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The Beauty Bound Thinking Trap suggests that you may restrict yourself from certain activities or experiences due to concerns about your looks. You might avoid going places, doing certain things, or being with specific people because you believe you don’t look good enough. This thinking manifests as statements like “I look too _________ to do that” or “until I _________, I can’t _________.” Your behaviors end up confirming these beliefs, and the constraints you impose on yourself reinforce negative self-talk, restricting you from living a fuller life. For example, deciding not to attend a party because you feel too fat can perpetuate the belief that you won’t meet anyone.
By freeing yourself from the constraints of the Beauty Bound Thinking Trap, you open up to various events, possibilities, and adventures that have the potential to challenge and disprove your limiting beliefs. Consider that people who are far from being perfect physical specimens engage in the same activities that you deny yourself. Do they genuinely look better than you, or do they refuse to deprive themselves of involvement in life simply because they aren’t perfect?
Ask yourself, “So why can’t I do _________? Why can’t I go to the party? Because I may not be the hottest one there? Please. It’s your discomfort stopping you; not your looks.”
Ask yourself, “How can I do _________? ‘I can’t go to the gym until I lose weight’ can become ‘I can go to the gym if I remind myself that facing my nerves and anxiety is an act of courage.’”
Reflect on other times when you accomplished things that you initially felt insecure about until you took them on and mastered them. Didn’t it feel good to overcome obstacles and succeed? You can do it again.
Consider how you feel when you are ruled by the Beauty Bound Thinking Trap—frustrated, lonely, angry, rejected. Now, imagine how it would feel to stand up against those feelings and embrace a more liberated mindset.
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The Moody Mirror Thinking Trap can manifest in one of three forms:
Emotional Confusion: When your initial emotion is a negative feeling about your looks, you may mistakenly equate feelings with facts. For instance, thinking, “Because I feel fat, I must be fat” or “Because I feel ugly, I must be ugly.”
Spillover Effect: Feelings of unattractiveness about one physical characteristic can spill over into other features. The worse you feel, the more likely you are to notice or create additional imperfections to justify your negative feelings.
Emotional Trigger: Negative feelings about something unrelated to your looks, such as stress or a bad mood, can trigger dormant dialogues related to negative body image. This is especially pronounced when these negative emotions are tinged with a similar emotion like shame or anxiety.
Recognizing and overcoming the Moody Mirror Thinking Trap involves acknowledging that the bad mood preceded concerns about your appearance. Ask yourself, “Was something already bothering me before I started worrying about my appearance?” If so, your appearance isn’t the primary issue; you likely had a stressful day, and your looks can stay out of this.
It's crucial to catch the Moody Mirror Thinking Trap as soon as you notice your mood changing and before it spreads. The more you let it spread, the more forceful it becomes. Obsessing over your physical imperfections doesn’t fix what’s wrong; the obsessing itself is the issue. Catch yourself, then shift your focus to something else. Step away from the mirror and engage in a different, more productive activity.
Stop yourself with the realization: “I’m not feeling very attractive right now. This isn’t a good time to contemplate my looks. I’m just making myself feel worse, so I’m going to stop.”
Transform “I am” thoughts into “I feel” thoughts. For example, “I am so fat in this bikini” becomes “I don’t feel amazing in this bikini.” This shift in language recognizes the subjective nature of feelings rather than stating them as objective facts.
References
The Body Image Workbook An Eight-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks by Thomas Cash